Exile: A Nuanced, Life-Changing Experience | Reflection Piece by Rhobie Toussaint
For most of my life, I did not think too much about exile. I didn’t take the time to consider what it meant, what that experience was like for people, and all the implications that come with the exile experience. Exile was nothing more than a word I heard here and there, from political candidates, from people I met, and from authors. And perhaps I should have given it a second or third thought, rather than letting the concept go over my head. And I’m sure it would have been useful to use any of those opportunities to figure what living in exile really means. But alas, I didn’t do any of that: until this class.
Over the past few weeks, I have taken the time to really reflect on what exile is. I have crafted a definition of what I believe is the exile experience. Without knowing much, I believed that the exile experience is one that can be extremely brutal, emotionally taxing, and physically draining. When I thought of exile, I thought of the experience of leaving everything and everyone one has ever known or loved. Through the readings and discussions with my classmates, however, I learned that while my definition of exile was good, there were things about the exile experience that I hadn’t even begun to fathom.
Before reading Czeslaw Milosz’ “Notes on Exile,” I did not think about the assimilation process, and the feeling of being an outsider. His notes also revealed some more factors that made living in exile a mentally taxing experience. Additionally, that same text introduced the idea of how sensitive someone in exile would be when hearing information about their home place/country in the place that they immigrated to.
“Literature of nostalgia is only one among many
pg. 16-17
modes of coping with estrangement from one’s native land.”
After reading this,I considered the fact that there are many mediums that have been used by people to cope with their experience of living in exile. Literature is just one of them. People may share parts of their experiences through song, art, and oral stories. This makes sense as there are many ways to express oneself.
Then, as I read the chapters by Edwidge Danticat and Ana Menendez, I started to look at exile through a Caribbean Lens. The stories told in these chapters resonated with me as I am Haitian. “I Speak Out,” a chapter in Danticat’s book, tells the story of Alèrte Bélance, a Haitian woman who was nearly killed by the 1991 military coup d’état. Alèrte was left with many bruises, broken bones, severed limbs and trauma. She, along with her family had to flee from Haiti and move to New Jersey for their own safety. Although she suffered a lot, Alèrte continues to advocate for Haiti and the Haitian people. The following quote by Alèrte stood out to me:
“It healed, ’she said, ‘so I can tell my story, so people can know what happened to me.”
pg. 81
In the quote above, “It” referred to Alèrte’s tongue that had “been cut in half [by the military members who almost killed her] and sewn back together again.” The quote is especially powerful because it shows Alèrte’s strength, and how she chose to speak out about her experience. Once again, I was reminded of the nuance that comes with every individual’s exile experience.
In Menendez’ chapter, titled “Traveling with My Selves,” Menendez explores her experience of grappling with her different identities as she traveled around. For example, throughout her life, Menendez embraced her Cubanidad. However, when she finally visited Cuba at 27 and looked around, she no longer felt like she could identify as Cuba. Menendez describes the experience as follows:
“Now, Cuba, that country that had previously only existed in my imagination awoke, like a living thing, to rebuke my shallow identity. Suddenly, I had no idea who I was. But I knew I wasn’t Cuban.”
pg. 201
Reading Menendez’ piece made me think about how grappling with multiple (or new) identities can be part of the exile experience. When someone finds themselves in a new place, it can feel like some things that they resonated with before may no longer apply. I can imagine grappling with different identities can cause a lot of dissonance.
Both Danticat and Menendez were able to use the art of storytelling to captivate their audience and share what exile meant to them or people around them. They exemplify what great writing is: finding a way to get your point across while keeping your audience engaged. They masterfully used dialogue, personal narratives, and the experience of others to create an understandable and beautiful piece. They also caused me to reflect more, which leads me to believe that getting your audience to think/consider the ideas you are presenting is also an important tool for a writer.
Reading pieces written about women who are either from or linked to the Caribbean made me think about if the experience of exile is closer to me than I thought. I considered my own parents, who are immigrants. I thought about the parents of many of my friends who are also immigrants. They weren’t exactly “banned” from Haiti, but it is clear that they needed to leave. Couldn’t that be another form of exile—Feeling forced to leave your home country, your family, and everything you know in hopes that there is a better life for you out there? Feeling like the political state and lack of resources in your home country was so unbearable that you could not fathom the thought of starting your family there? Couldn’t that be an exile experience in and of itself? I personally think yes, it can be.
That being said, I know that I will never be able to fully understand what it is like to live in exile. However, I am realizing the immense value that comes from taking the time to understand exile as much as possible and broadening my perspective.
Exile is hard. Exile is life changing. Exile is forging new identities. Exile is trying to acclimate. Exile is an experience with ebbs and flows. But it’s also an experience that varies by person, and it’s an experience that can be described in many different ways.
The exile experience is nuanced, but it is an experience worth learning about.
Inside an Optimist's Mind 