I found love within myself.
It wasn’t something that was easy or happened overnight, but rather took a lot of patience and a lot of time. It was countless days of telling myself that what happened was not completely my fault. It was nights of reminding myself that I am capable of being loved. I am worthy of being loved, even if the words of others suggested otherwise.
It took time for me to understand that trying to find fulfillment in others never end well. People leave, and when they do, I am left with my own self — my self to work on, my self to appreciate, my self to love.
I taught myself how to love again.
Not desperately for I risk not being valued, and not helplessly for I could end up loving someone I never should’ve. I had to teach myself that it’s crucial to know my worth and to respect myself. And the same respect I have for myself is the same respect I deserve from anyone who claims to love me.
I had to truly understand that I must love myself fully, before I try to love another. I had to understand that the only way to know how someone else should love me is if I know how to love myself first.
I found faith within myself again.
Faith, and hope, that the last time will not be like the next because of what has changed in my life and what has changed in me. It will get better because I will not let myself remain on the ground. It won’t be the same experience next time because now I know. I know that the pain I feel is temporary. I know now how to treat myself. I know that if I don’t have hope, and if I do not have faith, then there is nothing to hold on to anymore.
I learned how to love again.
I learned how to love myself again.
I reminded myself to hold on to hope, and to hold on to faith.
And I couldn’t be prouder of who I’ve become.
I suppose that this piece is a different version of the one I posted last week. A friend of mine told me that people are often in the mindset that someone else has to save them. I personally can recall times when someone else has helped me through a difficult situation, but I think it’s important for people to understand that it doesn’t always have to be that way. You don’t always have to wait for the knight in shining armor or someone to dig you out of the hole.
In life, there will (or at least that has been the case for me) be people who help you along the way, but never forget the power that you have in yourself.
Inside an Optimist's Mind 