Tag: relationships

Gratitude

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Experience

January 27, 2021

I’m grateful for life.

Unfortunately, many aren’t alive to say this. The year of 2020 has been filled with a tremendous amount of chaos, violence, death, and with it, mourning. Even 2021 started with its fair share of chaos and turmoil. Every time I pass the t.v. that’s near the kitchen, all I hear are reports about the alarming amount COVID-19 cases and deaths. When I scroll through my Instagram feed and tap my screen to view Instagram stories, I often find myself viewing information and stories regarding crises in other countries and people who have died as a result of racism and hate crimes. It could have easily been me in the “wrong” place at the wrong time, or a family member of mine who had died from the coronavirus, or me taking my last breath because I didn’t have the resources to survive a natural disaster.

I thank God for life, and health, every single day.

I’m grateful for my loved ones.

My closest friends help keep me sane through their consistent love and support. They listen to me when I excitedly talk about an idea or project that I want to see through and they use much of their brain power to understand me when I’m basically speaking gibberish. They are genuine, loving people who bring me so much joy, which is why I can wholeheartedly say that I have so much love and appreciation for them.

I am also thankful for the challenges I have faced and for my faith.

Though periods of tribulation are trying, I’ve learned something about life and myself during them. They make me stronger. And through it all, God, and the people He has put in my life have been there for me, holding me up in my moments of weakness.

While life isn’t always easy, and some face significantly more difficulties than others, there is always something to be grateful for, whether it’s the fact that you are alive and breathing, have access to food, or are surrounded by love.

Find your reason to be grateful today.

Here

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Creative Writing

Here they stand.

One girl and one boy, face to face.

And here they are standing hand in hand, with fixed gazes. They look at each other, close in proximity, and warm smiles are exchanged. They are the kind of smiles that reach the eyes, that’s how the pair know they’re real. Nothing but bliss is being shared between the two.

Here they stand in the living room, unintentionally ignoring the noise coming the T.V. and the sound of kids laughing outside. In this moment, the sounds of the characters on the television show yelling at one another and the chatter outside all fade away.

In this moment, no words are said, no comments are exchanged. The mere presence of one another is enough to fulfill them both.

Here they stand.

One girl and one boy. They are facing each other with their backs against the world because right now, the moment being shared between the two is all that matters.

 

This week I wanted to write something on the more sappy, romantic side. When I think of true, pure love, I think of moments like the ones the characters in the piece of sharing. Sometimes, the simple act of just sitting by, or in this case, standing near one another is enough. It doesn’t always have to be expensive outings. The little things, they matter too. 

I think that once you are able to enjoy your time with someone, whether you two are out and about, having a simple conversation, or laughing after an intense staring contest, it is clear that a connection has been established. 

In Touch

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Articles, Feature

Going the Extra Mile to Keep A Friendship

Originally published in the Harbinger

As the school year comes to a close, a great fear approaches for seniors: separating from friends. It may feel like graduation will hold the last memories of hugs, conversations, and friendship; however, this doesn’t have to be the case. If both parties put in effort to keep the treasured bond, distance will no longer be a determining factor within the friendship.

Social media is becoming an integral part of the lives for many, and friendships can both be initiated and maintained through it. You can send snaps to your best friend and vice versa, showing how one another’s day is going or laughing at memes sent through the DMs of Instagram.

“We have a streak on snapchat and send each other posts on Instagram and Twitter,” said Alexandra Roberdeo, a MLEC alumnus and freshmen at Hamilton College, about her ongoing friendship with Daylin Delgado, a MLEC alumnus and freshman at Amherst College.

When you’re miles apart from each other with different schedules, talking to your best friend everyday is nearly impossible. But catching up once a week or every other week ensures that you keep in touch.

“We don’t call often but we’ve also never been the type to call all the time. We do update each other or ask each other questions like once a week,” said Daylin.

If you and your best friend are in different states, or even just different schools, there is always something new to talk about, ranging from teachers to mini adventures to relationships.

In trying to keep your bond, it is important to take advantage of every opportunity and never hesitate taking the time to tell your best friend about all the mishaps and exciting things that happened throughout the week.

And although busy schedules and distance may make it difficult to see each other often, try and make room for a visit or two. Perhaps this can be done spontaneously, on a weekend when you both are free or for special occasions such as birthdays.

“It’s not like the distance can get in the way. Last semester, I felt myself missing home a lot, so I took a train to Massachusetts and surprised Daylin,” said Alexandra.

It is also important to understand that while some friendships work out after high school, some simply don’t. It happens. However, it doesn’t hurt to try, especially if your friend holds great significance to you.

“Don’t worry about it. If it’s meant to last, it will. You can’t force something to work, but you should definitely work for it if it’s important to you,” said Daylin.

As the final days of high school approach, remember that with some effort, surprise visits, snap sending, and meme sharing, the bond you share with your best friend doesn’t have to end.

Friendships

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Articles, Feature

It Takes Two: Signs the Friendship Just Isn’t Working

Genuine friendships are golden. There’s nothing like spending quality time with someone you can share laughs with, someone you can converse with, someone you can connect with. But for some friendships, there comes a time in which the relationship is no longer genuine, no longer cherished, or no longer functioning. There are signs, and it’s important that you notice them.

A friendship can evolve overtime, or it can disintegrate. Sometimes, the one thing keeping the bond intact is the shared class, or mutual friend, and when that goes away, so does everything you have to talk about. Losing what you have in common with someone may be the beginning of the end.  

When it becomes increasingly difficult to hold a conversation that goes beyond “hi” and “how are you?” there’s a possibility that the relationship you have with a friend isn’t working anymore. Two people don’t have to speak to each other everyday to remain friends, but when the conversations you do have never have any depth, red flags are raised.   

“You know it’s over when there’s a struggle to even talk to the person and you don’t feel the same bond,” said Abigaelle Barreauny, a student at MLEC.

Sometimes the ending of a friendship occurs because one party isn’t doing their part. Maintaining a relationship is a two way street, and maintaining said friendship won’t work if one person is carrying it. Both sides are suppose benefit from the friendship, not one.

“If you become the person always reaching out, or inviting them somewhere, you’ll eventually feel like you’re bothering them. If they’re always busy or never have time, but everything else says otherwise, the friendship becomes one sided. Having a one-sided friendship is a lot of work.”  

In friendships, it may come to a point where one person outgrows the other. As you try to change for the better, and mature, it is possible that those around you won’t. The person you once called your friend can become the person inhibiting your growth, and does not result in a good, functioning friendship.  

“When someone grows or changes, they can begin to feel as though they don’t fit in or “click” with some people,” said Mariana Plata, a psychologist and mental health writer.

Friends come and go. It happens for different reasons. The only things we can truly do is enjoy the friendships while it lasts, and learn from the experiences.

Bonds & Memories

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Experience

It’s funny how you can spend four years seeing someone everyday at school and utter two words to them, but tell your life story to someone you’ve just met. There’s something about rooming or being with someone for a short period of time and knowing that you’ll probably never see them again that inclines people to share stories and form a bond. This is currently the case for me, seeing as this is my last day at the FBLA 2019 State Leadership Conference.

At the meeting we had before going to Orlando, my club adviser told us, “you’re rooming with different people, but it’s only awkward for like 30 minutes.” When I entered the hotel  room I’m staying in along with three other girls, there was no awkwardness. We immediately hit it off, discussed our routines, and even almost forgot to introduce ourselves. Not too long after that we, along with some of the boys from my school, and my roommate’s school, went mini golfing. Suddenly, I was outside with ten other people, playing a game I have never played before, and laughing at jokes. It was as if I knew these individuals for half my lives and we were a group of friends just hanging out.

Yesterday after our meeting and workshops, my roommates (Chelsea, Amanda, Elizabeth) and I sat in our room, and started talking just about everything, from school to relationships. Amanda got up from the bed she was laying on, and came to my bed to show us a picture of someone she’s close to and Elizabeth moved from her chair to the bed as well. There we were, four girls who barely knew each other prior to the trip, on one bed, telling stories about our personal lives, asking questions, and getting slightly frustrated at the actions boys do that make absolutely no sense to us. Our conversation was so long that when one of us looked at the time, we had twenty minutes to get ready for dinner.

This trip has been an amazing experience, and I love how I not only became closer to the two people I did know here (Kevin and Chelsea), but also spent time with a great group of people. I don’t know if I’ll keep in touch with the people I’ve met here. I don’t know if when I get back to school, Kevin, Chelsea and I will go back to occasionally conversing. But what I do know is that I will treasure the memories I made over these three days and they will forever be embedded in my mind.