Why Materialistic Relationships Won’t Work
Originally published in The Harbinger
As Valentine’s Day rolls around, it’s a guarantee that there will be couples almost everywhere, holding hands, playfully fighting, kissing, or looking at one another with googly eyes. As one looks around though, they might notice that there are two types of couples: those enjoying each other’s love and company, and those together for all of the wrong reasons. Materialism is one of them.
As teenagers, we are constantly told that we don’t understand all there is to love and relationships. The common phrase, “you’re too young to know about love,” is repeated constantly. However, there are pairs that do understand that relationships are much more than gifts and a title, defying that belief.
“I’m not going to freak out if he doesn’t get me something [on an anniversary] because it shouldn’t matter,” said Naomi Ortega, a junior at MLEC.
“It shouldn’t matter. To be honest, the only gift that should matter is the time you spend with them on that day,” said Giancarlo Gonzalez, a junior and Ortega’s boyfriend.
One must understand that materialism in a relationship is not simply giving and receiving gifts. Gifts, handmade or store-bought, can be a way to show appreciation, but are not the only way.
“Sometimes I get [my boyfriend] a gift because I want to be romantic with him and make him feel special,” said sophomore Johanna Figueroa.
Her boyfriend, sophomore Jarell Burks, feels the same way. “Gifts are just a materialistic way to show how much we mean to each other,” he said.
There is no problem with giving one’s partner gifts all the time just because you want to; the issue comes when the gift-giving is all that there is to a relationship.
When that’s the case, the couple will care more about the luxurious aspect of receiving gifts instead of the in-depth meaning, which can lead to many problems.
“An issue with a materialistic relationship is that couples tend to always expect something to be given to them,” said sophomore Katherine Menedez. “Sometimes we can’t get a gift, and if that expectation isn’t met it can cause big problems and conflict in a relationship.”
There is no benefit in being materialistic: it takes out any significance in a relationship. A materialistic couple is not happier, more successful, nor do they function better than a couple that isn’t.
“A materialistic couple depends on gifts to keep the relationship stable. A couple that isn’t materialistic has other ways to do that, such as spending time together and just conversing,” added Gonzalez.
There is no true bond, love, or understanding in a materialistic relationship. All in all, being with someone for the material things they provide is pointless and brings no true fulfillment.
“The majority of people have materialistic tendencies, but it’s something you have to get rid of in order to be truly happy,” added Ortega.
Being in a relationship solely based on materialism won’t make anyone in the relationship happy, so don’t look for fulfillment in one. It won’t work.
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