Category: Feature

It Takes Two: Signs the Friendship Just Isn’t Working

Genuine friendships are golden. There’s nothing like spending quality time with someone you can share laughs with, someone you can converse with, someone you can connect with. But for some friendships, there comes a time in which the relationship is no longer genuine, no longer cherished, or no longer functioning. There are signs, and it’s important that you notice them.

A friendship can evolve overtime, or it can disintegrate. Sometimes, the one thing keeping the bond intact is the shared class, or mutual friend, and when that goes away, so does everything you have to talk about. Losing what you have in common with someone may be the beginning of the end.  

When it becomes increasingly difficult to hold a conversation that goes beyond “hi” and “how are you?” there’s a possibility that the relationship you have with a friend isn’t working anymore. Two people don’t have to speak to each other everyday to remain friends, but when the conversations you do have never have any depth, red flags are raised.   

“You know it’s over when there’s a struggle to even talk to the person and you don’t feel the same bond,” said Abigaelle Barreauny, a student at MLEC.

Sometimes the ending of a friendship occurs because one party isn’t doing their part. Maintaining a relationship is a two way street, and maintaining said friendship won’t work if one person is carrying it. Both sides are suppose benefit from the friendship, not one.

“If you become the person always reaching out, or inviting them somewhere, you’ll eventually feel like you’re bothering them. If they’re always busy or never have time, but everything else says otherwise, the friendship becomes one sided. Having a one-sided friendship is a lot of work.”  

In friendships, it may come to a point where one person outgrows the other. As you try to change for the better, and mature, it is possible that those around you won’t. The person you once called your friend can become the person inhibiting your growth, and does not result in a good, functioning friendship.  

“When someone grows or changes, they can begin to feel as though they don’t fit in or “click” with some people,” said Mariana Plata, a psychologist and mental health writer.

Friends come and go. It happens for different reasons. The only things we can truly do is enjoy the friendships while it lasts, and learn from the experiences.