Category: Experience

Bonds & Memories

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Experience

It’s funny how you can spend four years seeing someone everyday at school and utter two words to them, but tell your life story to someone you’ve just met. There’s something about rooming or being with someone for a short period of time and knowing that you’ll probably never see them again that inclines people to share stories and form a bond. This is currently the case for me, seeing as this is my last day at the FBLA 2019 State Leadership Conference.

At the meeting we had before going to Orlando, my club adviser told us, “you’re rooming with different people, but it’s only awkward for like 30 minutes.” When I entered the hotel  room I’m staying in along with three other girls, there was no awkwardness. We immediately hit it off, discussed our routines, and even almost forgot to introduce ourselves. Not too long after that we, along with some of the boys from my school, and my roommate’s school, went mini golfing. Suddenly, I was outside with ten other people, playing a game I have never played before, and laughing at jokes. It was as if I knew these individuals for half my lives and we were a group of friends just hanging out.

Yesterday after our meeting and workshops, my roommates (Chelsea, Amanda, Elizabeth) and I sat in our room, and started talking just about everything, from school to relationships. Amanda got up from the bed she was laying on, and came to my bed to show us a picture of someone she’s close to and Elizabeth moved from her chair to the bed as well. There we were, four girls who barely knew each other prior to the trip, on one bed, telling stories about our personal lives, asking questions, and getting slightly frustrated at the actions boys do that make absolutely no sense to us. Our conversation was so long that when one of us looked at the time, we had twenty minutes to get ready for dinner.

This trip has been an amazing experience, and I love how I not only became closer to the two people I did know here (Kevin and Chelsea), but also spent time with a great group of people. I don’t know if I’ll keep in touch with the people I’ve met here. I don’t know if when I get back to school, Kevin, Chelsea and I will go back to occasionally conversing. But what I do know is that I will treasure the memories I made over these three days and they will forever be embedded in my mind.

 

Issues

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Experience

Issues — We all have them. Every human being is different, and none of us come without flaws. Somewhere out there is someone who has a pet peeve that you do everyday. And somewhere out there is an individual who does that lying without reason thing, or whatever it is, that you dislike. Just as each and every person on this planet has their share of flaws, they have their set of issues. Our issues are the things we’re constantly battling with, or at least ignoring until we can’t anymore. Whether or not we acknowledge them, they are there, influencing our decisions or lack thereof. Our issues are the things possibly hold us back from being all that we want to be, limiting us from being one of the greatest the world has ever seen. Our issues, which to someone else, makes absolutely no sense, but to the person with the issues, are like annoying flies that keeps buzzing near one’s ear. Basically, our issues hold us down, effect us daily, and can be annoying.

Everyone’s issue is different. For someone, is not being able to let go, especially of the relationship you’re sure you put your heart and soul into. For another, it’s fluctuating insecurities, preventing them from mastering the ‘art’ of self love. Everyone has their issues, their flaws, and things they need to work on. That’s how it is. The first step, I would think, is to acknowledge that. Acknowledge that you are not alone, that the person to the right of you, and the person to the left, are also dealing with their personal issues. That’s a good place to start.

After the acknowledging that everyone has the things their struggling with, one should address what their issue is. Which, believe me, can be difficult. No one wants to tell themselves “yeah, I have commitment issues and am the reason why none of my relationships can truly go anywhere.” It’s legitimately difficult. 

And following with all of the acknowledging is figuring out where these issues stem from, thinking about and realizing what exactly brought you here. Which will no doubt bring memories you don’t want to think about, and half the things you were running from will come into light. There is a reason you were running from them, after all. But I think that this is a necessary step, it is all part of the process.

So,  say one has acknowledged that everyone has issues, acknowledged their issues, and dove deep into their conscious to figure out where they came from, there still an important step left: do something about it. If you don’t take action after all the soul searching, then what was really the point, to say,  “I have commitment issues, and none of my relationships will never work out?” The statement would vary based on the situation, of course. Not only is taking action a vital step, it just might be the hardest. Because (using the commitment issues example again) suddenly learning how to trust is no walk in the park.

Actually working on the issues takes time and dedication. One day, one tiresome, difficult day, you’re probably going to ask yourself, “do I even need to do this?” In the event that happens though, the answer is yes. You do. You owe it to yourself. How you would do this though, would vary on the person. Speaking from personal experience, having friends as my support group and motivators works fine.

With the working with these issues and problems at hand will come growth, and more self love, and that is such a beautiful thing. Five years down the line, the person who has now overcome their commitment issues will be gazing into their spouse’s eyes, thinking, “wow, if this was five years ago, there’s no way I’d be here right now.” Sounds pretty amazing to me.

Another thing to understand is that even after you have worked on your issues, there will still remain a quirk, or maybe a bad habit that’ll never go away. You’ll still have your “imperfections” in your physical features and your personality. Nonetheless, never give up the chance to live, learn, and grow.

Perfection’s overrated anyway.

May 2014

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Creative Writing, Experience

 Every one has a story, and this is part of mine

Here is a scene. Silence fills the space in the turquoise Toyota on a Friday evening. The woman driving looks intently at the road with both hands on the steering wheel. The young boy stares out the window, keeping a mental count of how many trees have passed by. The little girl has her eyes closed, half asleep, breathing slowly. There’s nothing she’d like more than some rest. Little by little, the silence fades away as the woman starts to recite a song she learned from church just twenty-five minutes ago. Her fingers begin to tap the steering wheel in a rhythmic manner. Tap… Tap Tap. A smile forms on the woman face and she continues to sing. “Wa  fe sa ou vle, le mem mwen pa vle…” The girl grumbles, slightly upset that the silence has been disturbed, while the boy, her brother, is still busy being fascinated of nature. The girl opens her mouth to tiredly complain and the woman opens her mouth to continue the verse, but no sounds come out. Instead, they are met with the sound and impact of another car hitting theirs.

There is a sharp intake of the girl’s breath, the boy snaps out of his fascination, and the woman has the sudden urge to go into a frenzy. The Toyota skids and spins once, twice, three times. Immediately, the chaos replaced the silence. The car crashes into the nearest utility pole. The young girl, now alert, mumbles a prayer. “Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.” One second passes by, then two, then three. Smoke enters the wrecked car. As the airbag hits her, consciousness moves further and further from the woman in the driver’s seat. The boy moves his hands towards the door handle only to realize that it’s broken. The smoke becomes heavier. He rushes through the passenger seat to make his way out the car, and the girl immediately follows, trying to ignore the ache going throughout her body. They exit the vehicle, and immediately are greeted with people who reside in the house that lost power.  “Lay down, Lay down.” “We called 911.” “Do you have an emergency contact?” “Lay down, try not to move.” “Someone help me get this person out of the car!” She looks around and sees a car that luckily didn’t catch on fire, a car that will never recover, and worried faces. She slowly brings her hand to her face, feeling the perspiration. She looks at her hand and sees crimson red blood. The young girl shakily put her hands by her side and lowers her eyes to stare at the concrete ground. Blue and red lights suddenly come into her vision. The questions start: “What’s your name?” “What’s your birth date?” “Where do you feel the pain?” She slowly answers the Medical Emergency Responder, choosing to focus on his black boots. The man walks over to the girl’s brother and the girl’s body continues to shake. The pain worsens. She feels it everywhere—the right side of her forehead, around her neck, and down her knees. A tear falls from her face, then another, and another. She continues her prayer. “I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want my brother to die. I don’t want my mom to die. God, please.”  The girl lifts her head in time to see the medical responders diligently lift her mother and place her on the gurney. The girl squints hard enough to see her mother slowly, but surely move her lips. “Don’t let us die.” The medical responders bring the gurney to the ambulance just as the girl sees a figure quickly approaching. The figure comes closer until the figure becomes clearer. He’s wearing a plain gray t-shirt, jean shorts, sandals, and a disheveled  look. “Rhobie. Vini, Come. I’m going to drive you and Lucko to the hospital.”  The girl sees her father, and they start to walk to his red BMW that is parked near the grass. She lifts her head.

“Don’t let us die.”

We all survived. Never in my life have I been so scared of dying. However, this taught me to be grateful for everything at such a young age. I’ve learned to appreciate the little things in life and the people around me for they can all be easily taken away. It’s not the fact that I was possibly on the brink of death that remains etched in my brain, but the fact that my prayers were answered.

Let Go

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Experience

The actions of people can be malicious, terrible, and can either be done deliberately or accidentally. With those actions come hurt feelings and broken hearts. Following those actions come grudges that can last a lifetime, or at least that’s the case is some situations.

The biggest problem with this: holding grudges solves absolutely nothing.

That doesn’t mean getting sad, or upset after being lied to, cheated on, stolen from, or whatever it is, is never justified. As people feelings and emotions, sometimes we get angry, sometimes we get frustrated. It happens. However, keeping resentment from an incident that happened fifteen years ago does not help you feel better.

Holding grudges solves absolutely nothing.

That doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with remembering someone’s actions, especially after it’s been done on multiple occasions.  If it happened once, it can happen again. So, keeping it in mind, being a little weary, or preventing toxic people from staying in your life is not the issue, but dwelling on what the person did to you is.

Holding grudges solves absolutely nothing.

Holding grudges does not justify anything. Instead, it hardens hearts and prevents growth. If you’re so focused on the time so and so lied to you, how will you ever move on and focus on other aspects of you life? You wont.

Holding grudges solves absolutely nothing.

It is because of this that getting rid of them is healthy. Once you get rid of the grudges that are holding you back and blocking your blessings, you can spend more time loving yourself, living your life, and walking around with a lighter, happier heart.

Holding grudges solves absolutely nothing.

Don’t waste your time on holding them. You deserve better.

Let it go.

Worth It

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Experience

You are worth it.

You are worth someone’s time and attention, and nothing less. Never let one’s disrespect get to you because you can be above it all.

You deserve it.

After putting the hard work in, you deserve all the great results. Even if they don’t come immediately, don’t doubt your abilities for patience is key.

You can achieve it.

Believe in yourself. Jump over the hurdles and make it to the finish line. There can be much more to you than you realize.

You are worth it.

You deserve it.

You can achieve it.

Now, believe it.