Category: Experience

Changes

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Experience

Do you ever think about the person you used to be? 

As we go through this life, many of us go through a series of phases and changes. These can be marked by milestones like getting that first job, graduating college, or starting a family. Or perhaps, there was a version of yourself that felt jaded because of heartbreak, loss, or betrayal. Those kinds of shifts, in my opinion, take the most work to recover from.

Do you ever wake up with an epiphany about your worldview? Or have a series of reflections during your shower that leave you stepping out of the bathroom feeling brand new? Has there ever been a word said, an action taken, or a challenge that made you realize that maybe, just maybe, something about you has changed? 

Sometimes I think about the different versions of myself. I think about little Rhobie who was oddly joyous and vibrant amidst a chaotic life. She would always get a little frustrated after working hard to bring a “B” to an “A” for her next school report card, only to then see a “B” for another class. She just wanted straight A’s and to get a certificate for principal’s honor roll. She also probably bragged a little too much.  

I think about the version of Rhobie who loved the idea of love in theory, but actually letting someone in her heart was something she could not have been less interested in. She just wanted to have fleeting crushes and sing new songs at church every Sunday. 

I think about all the times I thought I knew what I wanted but learned the hard way that those things could lead to my detriment. I think about all the late nights I looked at my ceiling, hoping that God would make the lightbulb in my head turn on so that I could choose from the two options I was torn between. He later gave me the realization that perhaps the reason I was so torn was because I, like many others, was guilty of trying to have my cake and eat it too. I still struggle with indecisiveness, but once I truly shifted my focus to Him and living a life that wasn’t fueled by instant gratification, some of those hard decisions suddenly didn’t seem so hard anymore. It still takes me forever to figure out what I want for dinner, but that feels insignificant now that I understand part of my purpose: to leave people and places better than how I found them by loving God and loving others. 

I think about the friends I made who were willing to have the uncomfortable, yet thought-provoking and necessary conversations that supported my growth. They reminded me to trust the process even when I could not yet see the light at the end of the tunnel. They cautioned me against building emotional walls so high that I become less gracious and forget how to take chances. Through all of it though, they supported me. That means more than words can ever express. 

I think about the person I used to be and how even though some parts of me are the same, so much has changed. I’m learning to be open to new possibilities, even when they don’t align with my original timelines. I’m working to unlearn habits of fear, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Tim. 1:7). I’m making a concerted effort to not abandon grace, whether it’s towards myself or someone else. Trying to become a better version of oneself is a daily practice. It’s challenging, but so worth it.

Change can be uncomfortable and beautiful and scary and life changing. Growing pains 100% exist. But when I think about the person I used to be, and the person I am becoming, and all of the joy and the pain that happened in between, I cannot help but feel grateful. The life-altering moments, the radical encounters, the chaos, the discomfort, the people I met along the way, the ebbs and flows in my relationship with God — none of it was in vain. 

A year from now, I’ll probably be thinking about 2025 Rhobie and all the ways her story has evolved. For now, however, we acknowledge the past, embrace the present, and navigate the changes that are unfolding something meaningful for the future. 

(DMV) Anniversary

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Experience

June 19 made two years of me living in the Washington metropolitan area.

At this point, I have lived in DC, Virginia, and Maryland, which still feels so surreal. I can remember June 19, 2023 like it was yesterday. I remember landing in DC around 10 or 11am and walking up to the house of my friend, Deborah, in Maryland with two suitcases and my purple JanSport backpack. I remember the pancakes and scrambled eggs Deborah’s mom made for me after telling her husband that the boiled plantain he was trying to serve me was not an acceptable option for my breakfast. I spent much of the day at their home before Deborah’s father took me to my apartment in Virginia. I didn’t know it then, but that was the summer that would bring Deborah and I closer and strengthen our friendship. 

What was supposed to start out as a 10-week stint as a State Department intern turned into me finishing college online while completing four more internships between September 2023 and December 2024 following my internship at State. And if that wasn’t enough, I started my first “big-girl job” in DC within a month of graduating. Sometimes I sit and think about how much my life has changed, and how through it all, God has sustained me. 

The past couple of years have been filled with many milestones, moments of joys, highs and lows, seasons of confusion, and periods of me simply just trying to make it through the next day. I found community. I reflected on what I wanted out of this season of life. I had to trust that everything would work out even when I did not know what internship I would secure next. For the first time in my life, I had to navigate grieving a loved one and trying to support others who lost someone. I’m not sure if I always did a great job at either. I had moments filled with anxiety and others with unexplainable peace. I cried. I laughed. I tried brunch spots and learned how to cook new things. I had weekend sleepovers, during which secrets were exchanged, bonds were built, and memories were made. 

There aren’t enough words to explain everything I have felt and experienced throughout my time here. Nonetheless, I am thankful. The unconventional transition I made with a seemingly impromptu move to the DMV has both taught me and reminded me of so much. I’d like to share a few of these lessons with you all: 

– What’s for you is for you. Everything always falls into place, even if that happens after pure chaos. Do you part and God will take care of the rest. 

– A little bit of faith goes a long way. Radical faith, however, can move mountains. 

– Neglecting your health and well-being is not the answer, even if it is sometimes easier said than done. As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Also, burnout sucks. 

– Take the time to learn yourself, your values, and your non-negotiables. Then, stick by them (while allowing room for growth and change). 

I’ve learned so much and I am still learning. Though this journey is not always easy, I would not trade these past two years for anything. I thank God for every single day, each friend I made, each roommate I lived with, every new place I visited, the moments that required perseverance, and everything in between. 

DC, Maryland, and Virginia: you have all been good to me. I’m looking forward to what my future in this place holds.

Costa Rica

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Experience, Photo Essays

In January 2023, I had the wonderful opportunity of studying abroad in San Jose, Costa Rica. This experience was made possible by the Benjamin A. Gilman International Scholarship, which funded my trip.

During my time abroad, I took a course titled “Costa Rican Healthcare System and Tropical Medicine.” Through this course, I learned about the history of Costa Rica and its Healthcare system and how Costa Rica’s healthcare systems differs from that of the United States. I also learned about some diseases/viruses found in Costa Rica, such as dengue fever and Covid-19, as well as what the preventive measures for these diseases looked like during the height of outbreaks. Through lectures, a museum visit, a case study, building a timeline, and participating in group presentations, my classmates and I were able to learn more about the different aspects that make up medicine and healthcare within the country. I found the class to be very eye-opening and educational. I realized that how a country views healthcare (as a privilege or as a right) has a significant impact on what that country’s healthcare system looks like.

My time in Costa Rica was not only spent sitting in a classroom though. AIFS, the provider of this wonderful study abroad program, planned different trips and excursions for us to attend. After orientation, we saw different landmarks in downtown San Jose. Later that week, we spent a weekend at Manuel Antonio National Park. There, I saw beautiful beaches, went on a hike, and got to spend time in nature. Other visits included: Irazu Volcano National Park, Museum of Calderón Guardia, and an indigenous reserve. Each and every one of these visits taught me something new about the Costa Rica, the culture there, and its rich history.

Even though I have been back in the United States for a couple months now, I think about Costa Rica every day. I enjoyed viewing breathtaking sights. I am filled with nostalgia whenever I think about walking back from the beach (located at Manuel Antonio park) with other students. We had to walk while it was raining but in that moment, I wasn’t annoyed that I was getting rained on. I simply thought “pure vida” and enjoyed the peaceful walk back to my hotel room. I laugh whenever I think about the monkeys who are adamant about stealing people’s food at the Manuel Antonio and near the hotel. I smile when I think about the wonderful people I met during my time abroad, and then I hope they are doing well. I feel a sense of serenity when I think about how in Costa Rica, I was able to immerse myself in another culture while having the luxury of moving at a slower pace. I did not have to worry about twenty different responsibilities, and I was able to be present. Most of all, I feel grateful when I remember that only a small percentage of students get to study abroad, and I had the chance to be part of that number.

I will never forget this once in a lifetime opportunity. Below is a set of pictures that do a decent job at capturing my experience:

On January 7th, 2023, I headed to the airport early in the morning and took a flight to Costa Rica.
Lunch after orientation the following day.
From our tour of downtown San Jose.
Every day started with a traditional Costa Rican meal made by my host family.
I walked to the University Monday-Friday’s for class. This photo represents my view as I’m walking
During my time abroad, I studied at Veritas University.
First trip: Irazú Volcano National Park. However, it was so cloudy that we weren’t able to see much.
…But we made the best of it anyway.
Following our trip to the Volcano, we visited the Sanatorium Duran Ruins and the Basilica Church.
We visited the Museum of Calderón Grardia. Dr. Gaurdia was a former president of Costa Rica who contributed to many social and health reforms within the country.
Views from the excursion to Manuel Antonio National Park and Beach.
During one of our breaks from the hike, we were able to see this view of the ocean. This picture doesn’t do it justice – it was absolutely breathtaking.
In the mornings at the hotel near Manuel Antonio, we took this path to go get breakfast and see one of the beaches.
Following one of our classes, we visited the Huerter Indigenous reservation. There we learned the history and customs of the Huetares.
During our last day in Costa Rica, we went back downtown, had lunch, and visited a national museum before stopping to purchases souvenirs.
Something sweet to close out my time in Costa Rica.
They say all things must come to end, but this experience will always stay with me.

‘Til You Try

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Experience

What I’ve come to realize is that sometimes, there’s really only one way to find out: trying it.

In all honesty, that was kind of hard for me to accept. I’ve never been a fan of change or going out of my comfort zone. I like the ideas of safety of consistency. I pride myself as someone who doesn’t make rash decisions and as someone who doesn’t have an impulsive spirit. But somewhere in that, I became an individual who didn’t take enough chances. “Going for it” became this weird, unfamiliar concept. Trying out new things became an idea that makes me nervous. However, I had to learn that (surprise, surprise) staying in your comfort zone, in fact, limits you.

How can you be sure that an experience won’t positively impact your life if you don’t try it? Or that it won’t lead to something you learn from? Or that it won’t help you figure out you like and what you dislike? Well, in a lot of cases, you can’t.

I’ll give an example of what I’m talking about. A few weeks ago, I went to a Peruvian restaurant for a holiday luncheon with my coworkers. It should be mentioned that I’m very picky and am not the greatest with trying unfamiliar food. There was a variety of appetizers and entrees. A lot of choices were foods that I’ve never heard of, much less tried. I barely touched the first appetizer that was served because I couldn’t tell what was in the bowl. I ate a lot of tequenos (pastries filled with cheese), and hesitated before eating the empanadas with steak and onions in them.

About twenty minutes into all of this, a former coworker who recently retired joined us at the table. We talked a little and saw my hesitation to try any of the entrees. Then, she said something along the lines of “try it, even if it’s just a little bit. You’re young. You should be trying new things.” I looked at her, then at the food, then at her again, and then at the chicken stew I was about to try. After each entree I tried, she asked how I felt about it. I left the restaurant with a full stomach and happy that I didn’t stare at food the whole time.

Had I avoided trying much of the options like I wanted to, I don’t think I would have enjoyed my time at the luncheon as much as I did. In fact, I’m not sure what I would have gained from that experience. Though the example above is a small one, I think it depicts the difference trying something makes. For me, that luncheon reminded me that some of the best times I’ve ever had stemmed from giving something new a shot.

Don’t get me wrong, trying does not mean you won’t fail. You probably will quite a few times and it will be uncomfortable because that’s a part of life. The beautiful things in life comes with the hardships, but the only way to find out if it worth it is through experience. That experience comes with trying things, even though it’s sometimes easier said than done.

So let this be your reminder to apply for the job, reach out to that person, or resume the passion project or whatever it is that speaks to you.

After all, you’ll never know until you try.

Happy New Year! I thought I’d start off 2022 with a post about trying out new things. It felt fitting enough. Hopefully there was something in my piece that resonated with or encouraged you.

Like I just said, trying something can be easier said than done, especially when there’s outside pressures (or pressure you put on yourself). And while taking a chance has sometimes backfired in my face, there were also times it led me to something amazing.

For the record, this is not your cue to be reckless and do things you know are bad for you. It is, however, a slight nudge for you to get out of your comfort zone (if you haven’t already). This is something that I’m still working on mastering myself so maybe our 2022 can include taking those chances, even when the initial thought of doing such a thing scares us.

Wishing you all the best,

Rhobie ❤

Joy

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Creative Writing, Experience

The joy in my heart is one I can’t explain

Life has its challenges, but I feel no need to 

complain 

No longer do i feel far from happiness

no, I don’t resent my scars 

I am content with where I am 

and my accomplishments, 

thus far

I am excited for all that is ahead of me 

excited for what I am experiencing

Filled with faith 

and optimism 

even Towards the things I’ve yet

to see.

The joy in my heart is one I can’t explain

and I hope that you too will be so 

overwhelmed 

with happiness, 

that you can also say

 the same. 

Hi! I know it’s been a while. I’ve been adjusting to changes and whatnot (we do be in college now). Like the poem above indicated, I’m happy. Everything isn’t perfect of course, but I’m happy with where I’m at. I have a cool roomate, I’m doing well in my classes, and I’ve identified the things I want to work on. So really, I can’t complain. I know that there are many out there who can’t say the same, which sucks. But I’m so grateful and glad to be… cómo se dice…thriving.

To those who are doing well: we love to see it. Joy looks great on you. To those who aren’t quite there yet: I hope that changes soon. Or, at the very least, you’re able to learn something from an non-ideal situation. There’s a verse I like a lot which says, “weeping may endure for a night, but joys come in the morning” (Psalm 30:5).

Wishing you all the best,

Rhobie ❤