Author: Rhobie Toussaint

Waiting with Patience

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Experience

Wait. 

This is not something that we always like to hear. Sometimes there is nothing more that we crave than to get what we want, to get what we are working for, and to get it right now. Sometimes all we want is to receive the instant gratification. This makes it easy to forget that all we can do now is wait.

Wait.

With patience comes healing. This can be the healing of a hurting heart, of what feels like a broken soul, or the healing of a scar, either a physical or emotional one. One’s arm usually does not magically heal after it has been broken just as one’s heart usually cannot automatically become restored after a feeling of it being shattered into a million pieces.  There are times when we try to rush the healing, automatically claiming that we’re “good now,” ignoring the pain that we feel instead of just waiting. Waiting and understanding that there are some things, like healing, that simply do not happen overnight.

I say this from experience.

Wait. 

In many instances, it will take time before we can fully reap what we’ve sewn. It takes time before the hard works pay off. As someone sits in a classroom, they may not see the point in being there. It is after receiving the diplomas and reaching the level of comfort and success that they have spent their life fighting for that said person realizes those hours sitting in the classroom weren’t absolutely pointless. They lead to something greater.

Wait. 

And wait patiently as you put work and effort in the things that you do.

You’d be surprised at how far that can take you.

 

This week I wanted to write about patience, a virtue that I feel is so important. When people rush things, they are usually not as good as they can be. So I wanted to use this piece as way to remind others to have patience and to just wait. Whether we like it or not, sometimes that is the only thing we can do, and sometimes it’s the only thing left to do. In Every difficult situation that I have ever gotten out of, I managed to get through it with faith, but also patience. 

 

Source of picture: https://www.industryweek.com/leadership/why-patience-virtue-leaders

 

 

 

Name

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Uncategorized

First days of school with a different set of teachers are always interesting. When the teacher does roll call for attendance, I wait until he or she calls on my name. There’s always a chance that they’d stare at my name for a second or two before pronouncing my name as “Row-be”and I’d have to correct them. Some years, the teacher would alternate between “Raw-be” and “Row-be” throughout the entire school year. Other times, the teacher would mispronounce my name for the entire school year, and on a good year, all six of my teachers would get it right the first time.

My father told me that he wasn’t originally going to name me Rhobie, but as he was thinking of names, it crossed his mind. He liked the name’s pronunciation in Creole. Although my name is common, the way it is spelt is different. The name is also usually seen as masculine. Every once in a while, a friend of mine almost gets in trouble because by the spelling of my name, their parents think I’m a boy. One of my closest friends told me that when I sent him a message saying who I was, he also thought I was a boy. He assumed I had the wrong number since most of his friends were girls. There’d be instances in which people add an extra ‘b’ or neglect the ‘h’ in my name, or if I was really lucky, the person would do both. In most instances, I’d let out a sigh, or possibly shoot a glare and correct them. Other days, I did not have enough energy to care. One could only correct someone so many times.

Despite the mishaps associated with it, I’ve grown fond of my name. For as long as I remember, I never cared about fitting in. I don’t follow trends simply because everyone else does. I don’t want to be like anyone else — I don’t need to be. I’d rather stand out, and my name is one of the things that help me with just that. People would tell me, “I’ve never seen it spelt that way” or “You’re the first person I’ve met with that name,” and every time, I can’t help but smile. I’ll take the mispronunciations, and misspellings, and the failed attempts of others trying to give me a nickname any day. My name will always be a part of me.

Within Me

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Creative Writing

I found love within myself. 

It wasn’t something that was easy or happened overnight, but rather took a lot of patience and a lot of time. It was countless days of telling myself that what happened was not completely my fault. It was nights of reminding myself that I am capable of being loved. I am worthy of being loved, even if the words of others suggested otherwise. 

It took time for me to understand that trying to find fulfillment in others never end well. People leave, and when they do, I am left with my own self — my self to work on, my self to appreciate, my self to love. 

I taught myself how to love again. 

Not desperately for I risk not being valued, and not helplessly for I could end up loving someone I never should’ve. I had to teach myself that it’s crucial to know my worth and to respect myself. And the same respect I have for myself is the same respect I deserve from anyone who claims to love me.

I had to truly understand that I must love myself fully, before I try to love another. I had to understand that the only way to know how someone else should love me is if I know how to love myself first. 

I found faith within myself again. 

Faith, and hope, that the last time will not be like the next because of what has changed in my life and what has changed in me. It will get better because I will not let myself remain on the ground. It won’t be the same experience next time because now I know. I know that the pain I feel is temporary. I know now how to treat myself. I know that if I don’t have hope, and if I do not have faith, then there is nothing to hold on to anymore. 

I learned how to love again. 

I learned how to love myself again. 

I reminded myself to hold on to hope, and to hold on to faith. 

And I couldn’t be prouder of who I’ve become.

 

I suppose that this piece is a different version of the one I posted last week. A friend of mine told me that people are often in the mindset that someone else has to save them. I personally can recall times when someone else has helped me through a difficult situation, but I think it’s important for people to understand that it doesn’t always have to be that way. You don’t always have to wait for the knight in shining armor or someone to dig you out of the hole. 

In life, there will (or at least that has been the case for me) be people who help you along the way, but never forget the power that you have in yourself.

Pure

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Creative Writing

You taught me what it’s like to truly be loved.  

You showed me that it goes beyond saying “I love you” and a few kind words, but is demonstrated through actions. You were never condescending to me, nor did you ever mock or belittle me. You uplifted me, constantly encouraging me to try my hardest, and to always recognize how far I’ve come.

You stayed even when I was at my lowest, even when you were upset, even when the situation seemed nearly hopeless. You didn’t leave. Instead, you assured me that you weren’t going anywhere, and you handled each seemingly hopeless situation with diligence. 

I don’t have to assume that you love me, I know you do. I see it through your care for me, through your patience, through your loyalty. 

You taught me how to love again. 

Not recklessly, desperately, or helplessly, but to love and have respect for myself, and to love someone who has respect for me. You reminded me to love fully, but before I do, to know whether or not what, or who, it is that I’m about to love is good for me or is worth it. 

“Understand this,” you told me. “When you give your all into something or someone, it will not always be easy. Some days will be significantly more difficult than others. Make sure that who you are loving, and what you put your energy in is not simply draining you or bringing you down.” 

I carry those words with me until this very day.  

You reminded me to have hope and faith. 

You emphasized that the broken heart of mine will not remain the same forever, and that even though it is broken, I am not. You helped me understand that we are all subject to hurt and pain, but we must not dwell on it, but rather grow from it, and to have faith that it will get better. 

You taught me love. True love. Pure love.

You reminded me not to neglect faith, and not to neglect hope. 

And for that, you will never be forgotten. 

This creative writing piece isn’t necessarily about a personal experience of mine, but I do feel that the lessons the character learned from the other are lessons that we should all learn, if it something not known already.    

To have love that is pure, I think, is such as beautiful thing. Growth, to me, is also beautiful. 

Mental Health & Technology

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Articles, News

Using Technology To Cope With Mental Health

Originally published in the Harbinger

 

With technological advances occurring by the second, there’s a society dependent on technology and apps to guide it. One of the newest additions: applications used to manage the mental health of their users. 

Apps such as “Daylio Journal” and “Moodpath” have been created to help users cope with mental illnesses in different ways. 

Daylio Journal serves as a journaling app, where the user doesn’t actually have to even type a single sentence. 

The app tracks your mood, achievements, and activities by asking questions such as, “How are you?” and “what have you been up to?” 

Daylio gives the user a set of emojis and icons to choose from to answer these questions, also giving the user the option to add more emojis and icons to the set. 

The app uses the responses to create charts, giving users the opportunity to observe and track their mental health. 

The growing number of installations of apps such as Daylio Journal prompts the question of whether it is a good idea to use them.

“I think apps like these are a great idea, especially for teens who hide their depression from their family and friends,” said Briana Sterling, a student. 

The high rating of the apps suggests that they are successful with helping users cope with their mental obstacles. Moodpath has a rating of 4.7 out of 5, and Daylio Journal has a 4.8.    

It must be taken into consideration that counseling can be costly for some individuals, as a session can be anywhere from 75 dollars to over 200 dollars per session. 

Despite the cost to speak to a professional in person, there are teens who feel that this is the better option. 

“I prefer counseling because it gives me a chance to say whatever is going through my mind and know I won’t be ashamed. Seeing another person and telling them is not the same as telling an app,” said Ashley Pineda, a junior at MLEC.  

However, not everyone wants to sit alone in a room with a stranger, talking about issues they’ve been scared to even admit were ever there. 

 This app is free, and accommodates teens in a society surrounded by technology. 

“I know people who are depressed and dread going to a therapist, because sometimes teens are forced to go to therapy in the first place. I feel like if it’s an app, and a teen chooses to journal their feelings, they would be more expressive and actually experience relief,” said Sterling. 

 

Mental Health itself is an issue that should be addressed.  It is important not to neglect the fact that there are individuals who struggle with maintaining their mental health.  In this article, I wanted to present an option for coping with mental health: technology.  As mentioned in the article, we do live in a society that has rapid technological advances, so it is no surprise that there are apps made with the intent of helping people manage their mental health.  Although not everyone agrees with whether or not using apps like these are effective, using them is still an option that I wouldn’t want anyone to miss out on.Â