Day: February 19, 2019

Fixing

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Articles, Editorial

To Fix Or Not To Fix

 

Every relationship has its share of ups and downs, but there comes a point where couples must ask themselves a familiar question: do we fix what’s broken, or is it time to call it quits? If and when it comes time to answer that question, it is important to understand the situation at hand and how you got there before making any rash decisions.

There are different reasons why one may sense a shift in the relationship. Perhaps it’s always hard to come to an agreement, or there’s not enough time spent talking or being around each other.

       “You can feel the atmosphere around the person is different,” said Carlos Peña, a Junior at MLEC. “When you’re with someone long enough, you can tell if something’s off.”

       Sometimes these problems can be fixed, or at least worked on. If fighting’s the problem, work on communication. If the issue is not spending time with one another, try figuring out how to manage your schedules to make time for each other.

      “You can probably bounce back from whatever it is by talking to one another and trying to fix the issues occurring in the relationship…Communication is key,” said Tracy Bojorge, an MLEC senior.

      Although there are aspects of a relationship that could be rehabilitated, it can be extremely difficult to know when it’s time to pull the plug on the relationship. Some things can’t be fixed, no matter how hard both parties try.

      “If you’re not happy with the person, why would you stay with them? And If the relationship is toxic, it’s probably not going to get any better,” added Peña.

       There are also the situations in which only one of the two tries to fix the problem. When that’s the case, it is important that the person who is willing to try sees past the sweet talk, and focuses on the actions. A relationship will never work out if there’s only one person trying.

        “If you’re the person trying to fix the relationship, all your effort is useless,” said Lilia Gonzalez, a sophomore at MLEC. “If you’re the person who doesn’t care to fix things, you’re hurting the other person even more, so end things before more damage happens.”

       There’s a difference between giving things a shot and knowing when it’s not working out. So, for all the couples out there: don’t give up because situations get hard, but never stay in a relationship that you’re not happy or respected in.

Materialism

by Rhobie Toussaint, posted in Articles, Editorial

Why Materialistic Relationships Won’t Work

Originally published in The Harbinger

 

As Valentine’s Day rolls around, it’s a guarantee that there will be couples almost everywhere, holding hands, playfully fighting, kissing, or looking at one another with googly eyes. As one looks around though, they might notice that there are two types of couples: those enjoying each other’s love and company, and those together for all of the wrong reasons. Materialism is one of them.

As teenagers, we are constantly told that we don’t understand all there is to love and relationships. The common phrase, “you’re too young to know about love,” is repeated constantly. However, there are pairs that do understand that relationships are much more than gifts and a title, defying that belief.

“I’m not going to freak out if he doesn’t get me something [on an anniversary] because it shouldn’t matter,” said Naomi Ortega, a junior at MLEC.

“It shouldn’t matter. To be honest, the only gift that should matter is the time you spend with them on that day,” said Giancarlo Gonzalez, a junior and Ortega’s boyfriend.

One must understand that materialism in a relationship is not simply giving and receiving gifts. Gifts, handmade or store-bought, can be a way to show appreciation, but are not the only way.

“Sometimes I get [my boyfriend] a gift because I want to be romantic with him and make him feel special,” said sophomore Johanna Figueroa.

Her boyfriend, sophomore Jarell Burks, feels the same way. “Gifts are just a materialistic way to show how much we mean to each other,” he said.

There is no problem with giving one’s partner gifts all the time just because you want to; the issue comes when the gift-giving is all that there is to a relationship.

When that’s the case, the couple will care more about the luxurious aspect of receiving gifts instead of the in-depth meaning, which can lead to many problems.

“An issue with a materialistic relationship is that couples tend to always expect something to be given to them,” said sophomore Katherine Menedez. “Sometimes we can’t get a gift, and if that expectation isn’t met it can cause big problems and conflict in a relationship.”

There is no benefit in being materialistic: it takes out any significance in a relationship. A materialistic couple is not happier, more successful, nor do they function better than a couple that isn’t.

“A materialistic couple depends on gifts to keep the relationship stable. A couple that isn’t materialistic has other ways to do that, such as spending time together and just conversing,” added Gonzalez.

There is no true bond, love, or understanding in a materialistic relationship. All in all, being with someone for the material things they provide is pointless and brings no true fulfillment.

“The majority of people have materialistic tendencies, but it’s something you have to get rid of in order to be truly happy,” added Ortega.

Being in a relationship solely based on materialism won’t make anyone in the relationship happy, so don’t look for fulfillment in one. It won’t work.